5:45 PM

 

I love this tranq gun. I feel like a big game hunter (people, not animals Kevin) and I like it. The rage gets all the up close work, I need something. Anyway, the current couch that Hotel was staining with his oozing dickness was located in a townhouse at the back of the complex. Hotel came home after a night out hopefully not spreading his seed and as he stepped out of his car, I nailed him right in the ass cheek and he went down with a look of complete shock. I might have added a little more power to the gun than was necessary, I wanted to make sure the dart stuck. It stuck alright, right into the bone. I feel bad for poor Hotel….. I’m over it now, back to work.

 

I am sure you know where this is going but hey, that’s why you keep reading isn’t it. We had a nice little place all picked our so the rage could get his Robin Hood on. I knew I shouldn’t have started the show Arrow on Netflix. We were in a little stand of trees surrounded by fields for as far as the eye could see all around us. We would not be disturbed. So, since we established that we are only 1 person, it took some doing and some block and tackle equipment but in the end we were able to hoist Hotel up off the ground with each of his arms and legs stretched out tight. A target needs to be still.

 

Of course you know right where the rage went. I could not have been more proud, I felt like a father watching his son score the winning touchdown to take the state championship. Instead, with his first arrow the rage took out Hotel’s “junk” and when we get back, we will send it to HIS mother. Turnabout is fair play. I am glad I got that new bow string because that sucker was singing like a violin playing Beethoven by the time both the rage and Hotel were done. Don’t ask which concerto, I like Rock and Roll, it was a metaphor. After we cut Hotel down…and up, we had a nice fire and the rage got to have a couple of s’mores. It was a nice team building outing for us.

 

I actually had an idea on where I was headed next for once and then fate intervened. I stopped at a rest stop and was having my lunch at one of the picnic tables and was just watching the people around, it was a very pleasant day. I became aware of a man on the periphery studying people with a little more than passing interest, paying special attention to young adolescent girls. One predator can spot another and I have no doubt in my mind what this ass zit was up to. Time to go hunting.

5:55 pm

Nikki’s Townhouse

 

Who did she think she was kidding, Nikki hadn’t thought about anything else since Simon’s email. Thankfully, she was able to give Jeffrey Danvers to the team and they quickly located him and were interviewing him and his vehicle was moved to the lab at Quantico for further testing. Nikki knew that Jeffrey didn’t know the first thing about Simon, and she also was equally sure the lab would find exactly what Simon said they would. Nicky was lastly sure that Simon was coming for her and he was within a few hours away if that. The thought got Nikki’s heart beating even faster and the butterflies were having what felt like a convention in her belly. Normally Nikki would have waited a day or two to respond, sleep on it and come up with a proper reply, but there was nothing proper about the way she was feeling now, the way Simon made her feel. It was completely coincidental that Nikki was walking around her house wearing her skimpiest sleep shorts and her favorite camisole. What, it’s laundry day…almost.

 

Nikki had a sly smile on her face and she started picking at the keyboard:

 

“Dear Simon,

 

You really know how to talk to a girl don’t you. After your last email I have decided that I won’t arrest you….until after that kiss. I have to say I have had a very similar fantasy about you. Then we will have to see what happens…… See, two can play that game.

 

Thank you for Mr. Danvers, the SAC was pleased to have any type of actual physical evidence to process although we both know it won’t lead anywhere. It at least it gives them something to do. It is embarrassing for them not to be making more progress in finding you although less and less people seem to be screaming that we do.

 

You are getting close to me now and I have to say that I am a little scared. Not so much of you, but what being with you will do to me. I have lived my life with a certain set of beliefs and ethics and then you come along all perfectly flawed and threw my whole life out of balance. I don’t know that I believe the same things I did before I met you. I don’t know and that is hard for me to process. I knew I was going to work for the FBI when I was in highschool and never once did that belief even waver. Maybe you are the wicked tempter and not the other way around.

 

Good night Simon

 

Nikki”

2:35 pm

 

Q&A “I am confused, are Simon and rage the same?” Yep, we’re a package deal. It’s just easier to refer to the rage as another entity because when it is in control, that’s pretty much the way it is. Everybody gets mad, angry, upset. Rage is like all of those emotions on crack and then throw in some adrenaline and that is Rage. Powerful, often uncontrollable. That is why I started this project, to give the rage somewhere to go so it doesn’t burn me down from the inside out. The problem with rage is that once you let it out, it likes to stay out!

 

Perfect segway into Hotel, let’s get busy. Hotel, as far as all of my exhaustive research has found, has absolutely no redeeming qualities. None. Did you expect anything different from the response he wrote to our email? Hotel doesn’t even have his own place from what I can tell, he is playing couch bingo with anyone who will have him. He hasn’t made a car payment in over 4 months but of course they can’t repo the car since he doesn’t stay in one place. He has pending charges for fraudulent check writing and he has a judgement from a landlord for rent that he presumably stiffed them for. Nobody is going to miss this 3 week old panty shield and the rage could not be more pleased, he is still thinking about the photo of his junk this guy said he was going to send to my mamma. He should have known better than to talk about the rage’s mother. The rage loves his mamma. Big mistake!

 

It’s a good thing Hotel is too irresponsible to have an animal, Kevin is on a cruise with his new lady friend and unreachable for another few days. I would have had to wait for his return to proceed but Hotel was thoughtful enough to spare an animal from his horrid existence. Let’s party.

 

Night op.

1:55 pm

FBI Headquarters

 

Nikki was busy writing up her final report on another case when Simon’s notification went off.  Nikki embraced the butterflies and read:

 

“Dear Butterfly”

 

The BAU will honor our agreement or I can make it 10 times harder for them. To ensure that you are in proper control of your unsub, me, you want to speak with a man named Jeffrey Danvers of Newport News, VA. You might find some interesting things if you have your FBI lab process the car. I told you I would make sure they knew you had “control” of this situation. But on to the real reason I wrote, what would I have you do when we meet?

 

I have thought a lot about that. I’m trying to change, I am giving the rage things to do to focus all of that energy. I just don’t know if there will be a time I don’t see someone do something stupid on the road that I will be able to just let it go, but I would like to. I used to be able to because the rage wasn’t out looking for trouble, we were too busy taking care of my wife and just being in love to let all these things bother us as much as they do now. Maybe that’s what happens to love when it has nowhere to go, maybe it turns to something else, to rage in my case. I don’t know Nikki, but I am trying. I will tell you one fantasy I have had of you. When we meet, I am going to approach slowly to allow you the time to arrest me if that is what you intend to do. I won’t fight it, but I will keep coming closer, closer until I am right in front of you. I will take my hand and smooth that lock of hair that keeps escaping gently over your ear. I will step even closer and that hand will gently cup your cheek while the other comes around your waist, pulling you even closer to me until we are one body. I will gently lower my lips to yours and I will kiss you like a man kissing his woman for the very first and very last time, savoring every moment. I am then going to look into your eyes and see what the rest of my life looks like.

 

Take care of yourself Butterfly

 

Love Simon”

 

“To steal a line from Simon, Fuck me in the ear hole, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?” Nikki muttered, heat flooding her cheeks. She grabbed her duffle with her exercise gear and  headed to the gym on the main level to work off some energy and most definitely grab a cold shower.

1:15 pm

 

Did you know that the average person sleeps 24 years during the course of their life, that is a lot of time to let Simon stand in your bedroom staring at you. Case in point, I made a housecall to Foxtrot. I wanted to see if that “reformed?” dickbag was behaving. There was no sign of gambling and I also verified that he had attended his GA meetings and has already signed up to volunteer at an event in a week. The rage was not happy, but he is encouraged that there is a possibility of intelligent life on this planet, a possibility. When they woke the next morning, Foxtrot had a nice little piece of Simon stationary on his nightstand that said “You have not disappointed, see that you don’t.” I had also taken a Sharpie and drew a circle with a line through it on his right middle finger. Do you think he understands that one?? I left Fox a red rose and a diamond bracelet. What, I had one laying around and she is one of the coolest women I have almost met. She’s stuck with Foxtrot, give her a break.

 

Our Hotel candidates will not be getting a diamond bracelet. Let’s check in with our four lucky prospects. Hotel #1 responded to his email:  “I am so sorry, please forgive me. I will NEVER text again while I am driving.” Obviously a reader, dare I say fan? Probably not. I would guess if he were constipated before he got that email, he isn’t any longer. Hotel #2, “I’m not sure who this is, but you are right. It was self centered and completely dangerous. Thank you for helping me realize how dangerous my behavior is. I will not text and drive again and I think it is a good thing you are helping people stop doing stupid things.” There, was that so hard???? I feel like a proud parent when their child takes their first halting step, progress toward a bigger life. Or in Hotel #2’s case, A life.

 

Hotel #3 does not share the above two candidates position, “Fuck you retard, I just texted your mamma a picture of my junk”. I have never seen the rage so excited! We are going to meet Hotel #3, the rage has already picked out his arrows and I am pretty sure he mumbled something about compacting junk or something along those lines. Well, I know you can’t stand the excitement, let’s move on to Hotel #4’s response:  he didn’t respond. Huh, I guess he was too busy texting his friends to bother responding to an innocuous email. You know there was only one thing to do right, the FBI needs someone to play with. Remember Charlie’s fingerprints and the DNA he was so willing to donate to the cause? Hotel #4 is riding around with the prints and DNA in his car. Probably should have checked his in box or, here’s a novel thought, NOT FUCKING TEXT AND DRIVE. I’m just saying. I have to email the FBI now so they can go make their introduction to Hotel #4, that should be a fun couple of weeks for him. But let’s not worry about ol #4, when #3 is queued up and ready to go! Full surveillance is underway and we should have a game plan tomorrow. I have to go buy another bow string, the rage wore out the last 2, he’s pretty excited.

7:00 pm

Nikki’s Townhouse

 

Nikki read Simon’s latest  post and smiled to herself. Simon was trying to see if he could spare someone like he did previously with Foxtrot and thought that maybe she had something to do with this crack in Simon’s armor. Now to the more pressing matter, how did she feel about the prospect of meeting Simon? Thrilled, exhilarated, scared, excited, Nikki was good at throwing descriptors out there, just not one hundred percent certain that she knew how she truly felt. She didn’t fear Simon anymore, she knew in her heart he wouldn’t hurt her, at least physically, but there are a lot of ways to hurt someone. Simon should know better than anyone.

 

Nikki started typing:

 

“Dear Simon:

 

I do believe you won’t hurt me. It took me a long time to come to this place, but no, I don’t think you mean me harm. At least not intentionally. You do know you are the most wanted man in the country right now and no one even knows your name or what you look like. The BAU has honored your deal about keeping our communication confidential between only the two of us, but I don’t imagine they will allow it much longer.

 

What will I do when we meet? That is the question isn’t it, I don’t know. I feel like I know you at a deeper level than anyone I have ever met, yet I refer you back to the paragraph above. I don’t know. What would you have me do?

 

I was thinking about you when I was standing there the other day.

 

Good night Simon.

 

Nikki”

3:15 pm

 

I hate the new Colonel, and don’t get the rage going, he thinks the guy is a child molester. We yearn for a simpler day and the real Colonel. Haven’t had decent chicken since they started using this poser. Why do they have to take a good idea and drive it into the dirt? Because there is nothing original anymore, or at least there wasn’t until the Hotel Hell Texting Lotto. Let me explain the process.

 

With the new surveillance technology, you don’t stand a chance. I took one day of driving, spent a total of 3 hours on the road and to give proper results for our research, we spent half the time on surface streets and the other half on the highway. The results are in and people are going to have to die painful deaths to make this madness stop. 40% of the drivers we surveilled in one day were either talking on their phone, holding it to their ear so they only have one arm driving a car they couldn’t manage properly with two, or they were frigging texting. I saw 4 different drivers driving with their knee so they could text with both hands. Hell, even I know there is a speech to text feature on the phones but these skidmarks are texting with both hands while driving a moving three thousand pound rocket. We found 4 candidates yearning to become Hotel within the first hour and a half. Originally, we were planning on using a lot of 8, 7 were going to get a Simon warning while the eighth was to have the privilege, neh, the honor of becoming Hotel, but we got bored and pissed off so four is all we could take before the rage wanted to get to stage 3. We haven’t even got to stage 2 yet.

 

It was easy to come up with email addresses for all 4 of our lucky contestants so I emailed all 4 of them with a subject line:  Consequences. Text:  Simon Sez those that text and drive must be punished. I sent each a photo showing their own transgression. Let’s see if these crabs infesting the hairy asscrack of humanity read the Rage or if they are going to end up as the rage’s new playmate.

 

Which brings me to the rage’s new hobby, archery. The rage likes archery. The precision, the skill, the hunt, the launching razorblades deeply into someone all the while imagining them texting while driving with their knees. Needless to say, it didn’t take the rage long to develop a level of prowess seldom seen in beginners and he is itching to give it a field test so let’s meet Hotel shall we. Stay tuned.

6:15 pm

Nikki’s Townhouse

 

It had been a couple of days since Nikki had heard from Simon and truth be told, she missed the verbal exchanges far more than an agent hunting their prey should. Nikki had been trying to stay professional, detached so she could do what she does best by getting into the mind of a killer, but the problem Nikki is now faced with is that she is not only in Simon’s mind, learning what makes him Simon. Simon is also in her mind and this is something Nikki has not been faced with in all of her years in law enforcement. Nikki only really had one real relationship and that was not long after she graduated college. When he ended the relationship after two years, saying he couldn’t stand that Nikki always seemed to be in his head and there was no mystery with her any longer, it had devastated her. Since that time, Nikki has been on a few dates, but nothing more than that, she just didn’t want to take the chance to get hurt like that again so she did like many of her coworkers at the FBI and just threw herself into her work.

 

Nikki didn’t know how long she had been standing there staring at her webcam when she heard Simon’s email come in.

 

“Dearest Butterfly,

 

I don’t want to come across as a creeper or anything, but I “happened” to glance at your webcam feed just now and you look like you are considering something very deeply, care to share? As far as me sharing, no, I have not been with anyone since my wife. I just don’t want to put myself out there to have the possibility of letting all that pain back into my life, the rage is a much better companion. I would consider opposing arguments on the subject though.

 

Foxtrot’s location? You want to know if I am coming to you don’t you. I will tell you if you truly believe that I could never and would never harm you. I would give my life for yours and that day may come and you will see that I am a man of my word. If you can believe that I will tell you where he lives.

 

Our relationship has already had a profound impact on my mission. First Foxtrot and now Hotel. What will you do when we do finally meet, and we will. Will you arrest me or will you…….

 

Yours always

 

Simon”

 

“What will I do indeed, I don’t know, I honestly don’t know.” Nikki muttered. She knew all along that the two would meet and for a long time she had fantasized what arresting Simon would mean for her and for her career at the BAU. But now…

3:15 pm

 

So the rage really hates texting. I am not what you would call a social butterfly so I don’t text, although I might consider texting Kevin but he cracks me up when we speak so probably not. I was out at a local restaurant the other evening having some dinner. I looked around the packed restaurant and over 80% of the patrons in the restaurant were staring down at a cell phone. Entire families having dinner together in a nice restaurant and never once muttering a word to each other, no wonder there are so many asshole drivers, people don’t know how to socialize any longer. It is easier to communicate generically through text messaging and social media posts that people lose the finer skills like being able to be a decent human being, to care about someone else. Ideas that are totally lost on our current world. Do you think this is going to get better or worse when we keep packing people onto the planet?

 

Well, that’s what we are here for, to correct all that ails society, violently if necessary. Thankfully for the rage, it is usually necessary. As you know, I play a bit with technology so I have outfitted my chase vehicle with state of the art cameras on 360 degree gimbels and fully automated for safety of course. I can surveil without the one armed Canon shots any longer and we really need more invasive surveillance for Hotel. Yes, Hotel is going to be chosen differently than we have selected our candidates in the past. Welcome to the Rage texting lotto where you most certainly don’t want to be a winner. The lotto has begun and I will share more as it progresses. A word of advice, don’t text and drive.

 

Q&A:  “Where do you come up with the crazy nicknames and curses you use?” This one I like the best.  There are master craftsmen in the world, men and women that are so skilled and proficient at their chosen craft that they are considered Masters. My dad was a Master Curseman. This man could generate the most original, usually overly obscene curses that the world has ever known. He could sneeze a new curse. Don’t ask, it isn’t pretty. Anyway, with that kind of mentoring, I became quite proficient myself so if any of you boils on the taint of humanity run afoul of us, you will at least be adding a colorful new curse to the world while you go screaming out of it.

 

Since our Hotel project is going to take some time to set up, I gave the rage a new pursuit.  Archery.

2:45 pm

FBI Headquarters

 

Nikki was back in her office after another heated session with her SAC. He was still trying to get Nikki to reconsider and let them find some way that the emails between Nikki and Simon could be recovered and analyzed by the rest of the team but that was Simon’s deal. As soon as Nikki read the emails, they were somehow deleted and there was no trace of them on any of the FBI servers. Simon agreed he would continue to feed information to the FBI, and he had come through with returning Charlie’s family’s money so the SAC had reluctantly let the exchanges continue between Nikki and Simon unmonitored, but he didn’t like it one bit. You don’t get to be the SAC by not being in the know, but he couldn’t argue the results Nikki was getting and at least they had a line of communication open with the killer and could only hope to find a way to lure him out or for him to make a mistake. Nikki knew it would have to be the former because Simon doesn’t make mistakes, but she had kept that to herself, that’s how you get to the position Nikki holds with the BAU.

 

Back at her desk Nikki closed her eyes and her fingers danced across the keyboard as she typed an email back to Simon:

 

“Dear Simon, thank you for the Butterfly explanation, that is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me and it is pretty ironic considering that it’s coming from an admitted killer. I still thought it was sweet.

 

Since Foxtrot was spared, we have no reason to ask but I have a personal motive.  Can you tell me what city Foxtrot lives in?

 

I don’t think I cast any spell on you, I think that at one point you must have been a very decent man and those traits have always been there, just hidden under the rage. You just can’t be someone you are not for very long before the true you has to come out. So now you have the two opposing sides battling for supremacy. Which one of you will win do you think, the rage or the compassionate man underneath all that rage?

 

I’ve wanted to ask you something and am afraid to offend you, but I am going to ask it anyway. Have you been with anyone since your wife? If it’s too personal I understand.

 

Nikki”

 

Nikki hesitantly hit the send button hoping she didn’t go too far.