Friday December 15

10:10 am

 

I didn’t know you could actually get kicked out of a karaoke bar for being bad, isn’t that the point? Well, someone gave us a shot (ok, maybe 5) of tequila and the rage thought he was a magnificent singer. I tried to warn him that Katy Perry’s I Kissed A Girl probably wasn’t the best selection, but the rage was feeling randy and said he likes kissing girls and cherry chapstick. Who was I to argue that kind of logic.

 

Kicked out. No more tequila shots!!!

 

Operation successful, Golf is resting very not comfortably in the guest suite. I wonder if she will complain to management, write a letter. Our service is not known to be 5 star, but it does come with unlimited pain so that’s a plus. Since Golf’s body will not be recovered, you know how that opens up our possibilities and I got to use a new tool. I bought a tranquilizer gun and man that sucker is fun to use. Golf’s got a little weight on her, yeah she was too busy stuffing her face to feed her dog, so when the dart hit her she looked like a giant hippo going down in slow motion. It was cool! Nailed her in her parking lot when she came home from an ice cream run last night. Thankfully I dropped her right next to the transport, my back still hurts but the Chunky Monkey ice cream was excellent.

 

So, you remember the newly happy 14 year old boy with the very happy new dog on that farm out of town? They have pigs. Did you know there is nothing a pig won’t eat? Kevin, stop reading! I know it’s beneath the pigs but I am proving a point and disposing of the body at the same time. Her new role as fertilizer is much more than she accomplished in this lifetime. Let that be a lesson. After making the Golf bird extinct and feeding it to said pigs in front of her, she understood consequences. It was feeding time. I would have liked to let the rage play some but we don’t hit girls. Gentleman, of sorts.

Thursday December 14

10:55 am

 

Q&A:  “Is there any way that the rage can be defeated?” I like this one, it’s medieval tone, I feel like a knight slaying a dragon and if the rage was that dragon, I would have said there is no force that can defeat that kind of power. Although as of late, I am beginning to think that maybe love might be a worthy adversary to the rage but I personally think the rage would win out. I have been doing some experiments on this provocative subject and the results are not yet available. Stay tuned.

 

Much like Golf is going to be tuned into the aforementioned power of the rage very shortly. SitRep:  Golf is a female dick. She possesses all of the dick qualities and has been fully vetted. She’s going to die. Thankfully though she has no direct family and lives alone in her rented shitbox house. No wonder she is such a dick, if I lived in there I wouldn’t wait for someone to off me, I would do it myself. So this means we can get creative and as I’m experimenting with new emotions, I think I need to expand my hobby list. I mean I am now an avid baseball player, spear fisherman and, I add with pride, shark catcher, what’s next? While you ponder that and I know you ponder that because I have already read some of your suggestions and the rage was actually offended by two of them….sick fuckers, consider your muse. Golf has a dog. Awww you say…..yeah. In the day(s) of surveillance I have done, the dog never once was taken off the 10’ chain it is tied to in the backyard. The food and water were filled up once in all that time and that just pisses me the fuck off. You know what I did don’t you, I called Kevin and consulted my man, that’s why they gave him to me. Kevin would not get behind me shoving an ice pick up Golf’s ass but he was strangely silent to the possibility that said dog might mysteriously disappear only to reappear at a farm 22 miles out of town where a 14 year old boy just lost his own dog. I take Kevin’s muteness as a hearty blessing. My man! Golf on the other hand is going to be wishing she was that dog’s shit because that is a step up from where she is going.

 

Night op.

Tuesday December 12b

7:30 pm

Nikki’s Townhouse

 

Nikki was doing her usual wandering around aimlessly throughout her townhouse waiting for the sound of Simon’s email. She had been anxious to hear from him since she saw his post and she felt like she was 17 years old waiting on her prom date. She quickly refilled her wine glass at that thought. Still, he spared him, for who though the Fox or the Butterfly. Was she jealous at the thought that it wasn’t entirely about her. Just then she heard the familiar sound and she knew why she liked the name Butterfly because since she met Simon they have taken up comfortable residence in her belly. Realizing that she was staring at her cell phone with a dopey look on her face, she took a shaky breath and opened the email as she settled into her spot on the couch.

 

“Hello Butterfly, what have you done to me you wicked temptress. I hope you’re happy, the rage is most decidedly not. I know you well enough by now to know that you are wondering why I spared him. To be honest, every time I saw Fox’s photo she reminded me so much of my wife and when she asked for grace it clicked, that is exactly how I would have described her as well, grace. I could see her fighting for our son like Fox was fighting for hers. All that being said, she wouldn’t have had a snowball’s chance in hell of convincing me to spare him if I hadn’t met you first and you cast whatever this spell of yours is on me.

 

Butterfly because you were so young and defenseless and your grandmother came and wrapped you in a cocoon of love and support and strength and you emerged a beautiful Butterfly for the world to watch in awe.

 

Good night my Butterfly

 

Yours always

 

Simon”

Tuesday December 12

10:45 am

 

I have to tell you first thing that the Fox has proven beyond a doubt that she is truly the definition of the word and Simon Sez I will spare that, out of respect for Fox I won’t go there, person, but his ass doesn’t get a free pass. Oh hell no. Fox has made sure that, it’s really hard not to go there, he will understand the following. Should that ARGGGHHH Dick Bag (sorry, the rage is powerful) EVER gamble again with his family’s future, we will come back and remove his skin 1 painful inch at a time. And then we will get down to business. He will attend Gamblers Anonymous  weekly and volunteer at least once a month. If I get so much as a whiff that he is anything other than a model husband and father he will fully understand the rage’s dislike for forgiveness. This project began to show the world what consequences are and when someone so eloquently asks for a moment of grace, wish granted. Consequences.

 

Your car will be returned (but Bravo will remain a part of Foxtrot’s life in case I need to prove a point down the road). Your finance company apparently had a computer glitch and made a mistake. Be well Fox, you deserve better.

 

I met Golf today. What, did you think I was a frigging quaker now? The only reason I was able to convince the rage that we should spare Foxtrot was because Golf came and introduced….herself to us.

 

Before we get into this most interesting next case, Q&A time as promised. One question I have now been asked 47 times from all around the world and thank you but no, I can’t marry you, my heart belongs to another. But thanks for asking. If I had an ego, it would be inflating tremendously but thankfully I don’t give a crap what anyone thinks…except her. The question I get asked more than any other though is how is it going to end? All I can say to that one is stay tuned and drive well. If I have no volunteers my mission is over. Eight billion people, there is no way I won’t get any volunteers. Case in point, Golf.

 

Our Golf is the farthest thing from a well running VW, no this pussy fart is already on the guest register at Chateau de Simon. As you know, I fashion myself a gentleman, of sorts, so for one of the fairer sex to make the reservation, she had to spectacularly fuck up. Golf didn’t disappoint. We’ve previously established that riding the ass of the last car in a line of cars honking and flashing lights was an extraordinarily bad move, Simon last car in line, Golf right up my ass. She is going to find that isn’t exactly a comfy environment for her. Even though the rage is on even more of a hair trigger after the Foxtrot debacle, his words, this move in and of itself wouldn’t be enough to breach my chauvinistic barrier so she upped the ante. Rule #1, if someone wants that spot more than I do, move the fuck over. So I did. Golf guns it to close the 17 feet of highway I just vacated to help placate her and for my effort, you know it is going to be difficult to even find a bird in a very short period of time with so many going extinct. As I followed behind, she cut off no less than 4 cars in the 2 miles until she got off her exit. Then she started driving aggressively. Room service not included.

Monday December 11

10:50 am

FBI Headquarters

 

Nikki was at the whiteboard updating her information to add Echo’s location:

 

Alpha:  unknown

Bravo:  Atlanta, GA

Charlie:  Jacksonville, FL

Delta:  Montgomery, AL

Echo:  Charleston, SC

Foxtrot:  ???

 

Nikki also went to her keywords and updated as well:

 

Angry, Sociopath, Intelligent, Hacker, Random, Justice, Practical, Planning.  Nikki uncapped her marker and added the following:  Killer, Tortured, Noble, Ethical.

 

This grouping of keywords doesn’t show up together in any profile that she has ever seen. Clearly Nikki is not the only one having difficulty showing disdain for Simon since he has become somewhat of a social media sensation. More people think what he is doing is morally acceptable than are against it, what does that even say about our society. But Nikki can’t condemn them when she is feeling the exact same way. Simon’s notification went off shaking Nikki out of the trance she was in staring at the words. After a few deep breaths to calm herself and get back in the moment, Nikki opened the email and read:

 

“Nikki, I am at a crossroad. I am sure you read the last blog, that came out of nowhere but as I said in the post, I am happy that my message is getting out there. The responses have been going out of control since I posted it. You of all people know I have a code that I live by, I am a stone cold killer and I don’t allude to anything else, but I also only unleash that fury on those entirely deserving of it. Foxtrot needs to be punished, he is no different than any of the others. I can make sure the family is financially ok, but her words struck me in my core, to everything I am and have been working for. I took the name Simon because that was the name my wife and I had always dreamed we would name a son if we were to ever lucky enough have one. I took Simon’s name to bring justice in his name for not even being allowed to be born, to not even have a chance. When fox was begging for the life of her son…

 

You asked me how this was going to end, I honestly don’t know. I’m not a politician and am not going to live my mission by approval ratings or what anyone else thinks I should do, I just don’t know anymore what it is that I want. I had that burned out hole in my chest welded shut with vengeance and retribution, but you found a way to crack that hole open and all of the pain is coming back out again. I shouldn’t care what she said, I shouldn’t.

 

What do you think my butterfly?

 

Yours always

 

Simon”

 

“I am so in over my head right now” Nikki whispered. She stood up and slowly walked to the whiteboard and made the following changes:  Angry, Sociopath?, Intelligent, Hacker, Random, Justice, Practical, Planning,Tortured, Noble, Ethical, Killer, Compassionate???

 

Later that night after Nikki was halfway through her second glass of wine and had been staring into the webcam trying to see the haunting grey eyes looking back at her for the last half hour, she hit reply:

 

“Simon, dear Simon, you are the definition of an enigma. I can honestly only imagine the kind of turmoil you go through all the time but at the same time, you continue to surprise me. Enigma. I know you are not truly asking for my advice because we both know that it is only you that can take the next step. Is forgiveness and grace a possibility for you? Special Agent Monique Sebastian is duty bound to find any way possible to require your forgiveness and grace. Nikki would by her fondest hope that you could, but your Butterfly knows that you can. Be that man.

 

Where did you come up with Butterfly, I like it.

 

Good night Simon.

 

Butterfly”

Saturday December 9

6:15 pm

 

When I started this mission, I wanted to get my message out there, for people to respect others, to be courteous. As we passed over these last several weeks together and more and more people are reading the Rage, I only hope you are taking the lessons to heart, the rage is always hungry. Anyway I digress, it finally happened, it finally came full circle. I received a reply from Foxtrot:

 

“My dearest Simon, this is not the man you call Foxtrot, I am who you referred to as the Fox and thank you so much for that by the way, I’m still blushing. Anyway, I read your blog and until I realized that I share a bed and more importantly, a son, with this man called Foxtrot, I believed in your mission. I hate driving at all because there are more bad drivers than there are good I also agree that their personalities reflect that as well, but when the thing that matters to me most in the world is in danger, a momma bear has to protect her cub. PLEASE don’t make my son grow up without his father. He’s not perfect by any means, but he loves our son and he loves me. Now that you told me about the gambling, I understand why he has been the way he has lately and while it’s no excuse, I can see him stealing your parking space that day and acting the horrible way he did, we just had a huge fight about money and he went storming out. That’s when I found your email in his inbox. I, more than anyone you have touched, understand that we are completely at your mercy, but all I ask for is a moment of grace from you Simon, for my son, for me, for you.”

 

Well, fuck me in the earhole, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?

Friday December 8

7:30 pm

Nikki’s Townhouse

 

Nikki had been “cleaning” for about an hour which equated to her walking around her townhouse aimlessly straightening up all the while thinking about Simon and the response she was getting ready to send. Every day it is getting harder for her to see Simon as a monster, as an adversary. Sure he is a cold blooded slightly sadistic killer, but he also seems be doing it for the most noble reason of all. Throughout history his same actions won nations, you got out and took out what threatens you in an equally or more violent manner than Simon. How is that any different from what he’s doing. Nikki didn’t kid herself that she is having personal feelings that don’t belong anywhere near this case, but isn’t that just the thing about emotions, they don’t show up at your request. They are the leader of the orchestra and were there before you even came to the show. How is this going to end, what is Nikki willing to do to make it end. Should it even end.

 

“Hi Simon, I’m glad you told them why you are doing what you do. I already saw they have a poll out there and your approval rating has risen since you posted. I can’t believe you have an approval rating but that is the world we live in, you ARE a rock star and that’s a pretty twisted thing. Thank you for Echo, we found exactly what you said, but since there is nothing to be found, including Echo, your “credibility” rating within the bureau went up. How does all this end Simon, I know you must have thought about it?

 

When I was learning to speak, I couldn’t say Monique, it came out niq niq so, Nikki. My grandmother gave me that nickname which is why I still use it with certain people. I don’t use it during my work, ever, but I knew you would accept nothing less than my true self.

 

Thank you for the photo, my tech guys would give me free internet for life if I can get you to tell them how you did the disappearing trick, they almost didn’t believe it happened. You are a very attractive man and in that other world, I definitely wouldn’t run from the compliment, I am blushing now.

 

Goodnight Simon

 

Nikki”

Thursday December 7

11:45 am

 

Several of you keep inquiring about a clue to the identity of Echo and one of the requests came from someone I don’t want to disappoint so here you go, Echo was James Morris. Happy hunting, or fishing as is the case.

 

I have received interview requests from every media outlet in the country and several across the world so as a compromise and so I don’t have to keep “borrowing” servers to handle the additional traffic and requests, I will answer some direct questions asked that I have not addressed so far. The first question I will answer is “was there a specific event that made you what you are?” Yes. I’ve told you the rage has always been there and then one day everything that mattered to me in my life was torn away from me in the most violent way imaginable by some fucker driving like an asshole. If I can save one of you from that pain, then this project is a success. That’s all I can say on the subject.

 

On to Foxtrot. Unfortunately for the world, Foxtrot has reproduced so there is a chance the dick gene has been passed down, but it also means a surgical strike again. Besides, Mrs. Foxtrot is actually a, wait for it, fox. She definitely inherited the hotness gene but obviously not the picking a decent mate gene. We’ll try to keep the collateral damage to a minimum, try. Consequences.  Foxtrot has one son, 10 years old, he works a mid level white collar job, the fox works at a local spa and they don’t have any pets. I’m sure my PETA guy, Kevin, will be happy.  After they received Charlie’s generous donation, they gave me a guy, Kevin. He makes sure no animals are harmed in the making of this project. I feel like a rock star, I have a guy.

 

Foxtrot runs his life like he steals parking spaces, fast and loose. He holds two mortgages on the house, both cars are financed, no savings, and a pretty obvious online gambling problem. One little breath of a breeze and his little house of cards is coming down. Forecast calls for hurricane Simon to strike.

 

I composed an email to Foxtrot and attached a lovely shot of his son with a sniper scope outline and a subject line:  Consequences. Usually I like to let them respond and play off of their anger, the rage always like a little company, but a hurricane isn’t gentle. Text:  “You stole something from me, I stole something from you. Tell me what you stole and I will call it even.” I had his car repossessed. That was pretty decent but I’ve been through a hurricane and when I say they aren’t gentle, remember Bravo’s lost bird, I left the bird in Foxtrot’s car. Let’s see what they do when they find that. I will hold on to that poker chip for a later time.

Wednesday December 6

8:25 pm

Nikki’s Townhouse

 

Nikki heard the alert signaling an email from Simon and her heart leapt. She had read that expression in one of her books and had always thought it odd until right now, she understood what a leaping heart feels like and she liked it. Nikki opened the email:

 

“Hello Nikki, I really feel like I should have a pet name for you like honey or sweetie by now but none of them feel right. How did you get Nikki as your nickname? I have an idea and I hope I am right.

 

Let’s see, to your questions. The other driver was never located. He is every one of my guests, part of the justice I met out is for him. My fondest hope would be to run across him one day and let the rage have his way, but I have exhausted every way to find him even bringing all of the considerable resources I have at my disposal to bear. If I can end one of these, I want to use one of my normal nicknames for them, but with you it seems vulgar. If I can end one of these guests before they go out and do something like what happened to my wife then I am contributing to the greater good.

 

As far as Echo, I don’t know what good it will do you to know who he is, you can’t prove a negative and there isn’t even a trace of him out there but I know you have to show progress to your people. I will put it in the blog because some of my, do I call them followers, followers fashion themselves amatuer detectives and they are trying to identify me and track me so I have to play the game with them. Have you seen the number of people who follow Simon, it keeps increasing every day and I am not sure that is because of me or because of us. I sure hope it’s the later because that is what keeps me interested. I think about you quite often and it’s not just because you left the webcam in place but bless your sweet heart for that, you are spectacular!

 

I guess turnabout is fair play” the next second a photo took over Nikki’s screen and she drew in a startled breath and stared at the image in front of her. The man was probably in his early 40’s, he had dark hair with a little gray at the temples, steel gray eyes that looked like they could see into your soul with slight laugh lines at the corners. A strong jaw line and full lips that would be a fixture in Nikki’s dreams later tonight. Simon had a slight shadow of whiskers and you could make out a slight scar running from his left ear down his jaw to his chin. He was stunning and she would never forget that image, which is a good thing because a second later it was gone. Nikki blinked rapidly, her heart lurching. There was no attachment to the email. She closed and reopened the email but the image wouldn’t reappear and Nikki felt a sharp jab of pain in her chest at the loss. She opened the email one more time and continued reading:

 

“It was only fair for you to be able to see your counterpart, to see that I am real, but I hope you understand that I couldn’t leave the image with you. I doubt that you would be able to find a match in any databases but I can’t take that chance. Sleep well sweet Monique, we will talk more later.

 

Yours always,

 

Simon”

Tuesday December 5

9:25 am

 

I’m pretty sure she loves me, at least as much as you can love a serial killer you have never actually met and have no idea what they look like. How sexy is that, she is after me for my mind, or the twisted shell that used to be my mind. If I had known it was possible to feel this way for another human being, I might not have undertaken this mission. But then I would have missed out on meeting Foxtrot and it’s back to blissful reality.

 

Let’s meet Foxtrot. I met this particular ass sniffer in a parking lot of all places. I was picking up supplies at the local hardware emporium and I was waiting for a parking space that was in the process of being vacated by the current resident with my signal on. The car is backing out so when it goes forward it will come toward my direction. As the car starts coming toward me and I begin moving toward the parking space, Foxtrot came flying around the corner from the other side of the space and as I was making the turn in, Foxtrot slammed his car into the spot right in front of me and I almost hit him. I tapped my horn to let him know he was now in my sights and do you know what this brain donor did, I know you know. One more bird going extinct. As he was getting out of his car I rolled my window down and smiled and said “have a lovely day.” The walking poster for abortion sneered over at me “fuck off dickhead”. Better words for his headstone there are not. The rage wants to spend some quality time with this guest. After he left I got out and let the air out of all of his tires and parked in the back of the lot so I could watch when he comes out. Some people spend their time in front of a TV but I prefer interactive entertainment. If you saw the tantrum he threw in the parking lot I think the television advertisers would be upset at the loss of revenue. I haven’t laughed that hard since Delta’s reaction to me giving his ex wife all his assets, this was better. I think it’s important to take pride and enjoyment in your work.