10:10 am
I didn’t know you could actually get kicked out of a karaoke bar for being bad, isn’t that the point? Well, someone gave us a shot (ok, maybe 5) of tequila and the rage thought he was a magnificent singer. I tried to warn him that Katy Perry’s I Kissed A Girl probably wasn’t the best selection, but the rage was feeling randy and said he likes kissing girls and cherry chapstick. Who was I to argue that kind of logic.
Kicked out. No more tequila shots!!!
Operation successful, Golf is resting very not comfortably in the guest suite. I wonder if she will complain to management, write a letter. Our service is not known to be 5 star, but it does come with unlimited pain so that’s a plus. Since Golf’s body will not be recovered, you know how that opens up our possibilities and I got to use a new tool. I bought a tranquilizer gun and man that sucker is fun to use. Golf’s got a little weight on her, yeah she was too busy stuffing her face to feed her dog, so when the dart hit her she looked like a giant hippo going down in slow motion. It was cool! Nailed her in her parking lot when she came home from an ice cream run last night. Thankfully I dropped her right next to the transport, my back still hurts but the Chunky Monkey ice cream was excellent.
So, you remember the newly happy 14 year old boy with the very happy new dog on that farm out of town? They have pigs. Did you know there is nothing a pig won’t eat? Kevin, stop reading! I know it’s beneath the pigs but I am proving a point and disposing of the body at the same time. Her new role as fertilizer is much more than she accomplished in this lifetime. Let that be a lesson. After making the Golf bird extinct and feeding it to said pigs in front of her, she understood consequences. It was feeding time. I would have liked to let the rage play some but we don’t hit girls. Gentleman, of sorts.