3:55 pm
Happy New Year to all my readers, I hope you are spending your time well….and off the roadways. Always safer, you never know where Simon might be spending the holiday. A couple of you have inquired if I have any New Year’s resolutions and one of you even suggested I give up bird hunting…really, have you read the Rage? Not happening so remember that when you hear that horn, it just might be me telling you your ass is in my sights. Other than brutally killing fuckhole drivers, I don’t really have any bad habits. I eat well, exercise, I don’t smoke and I only drink occasionally as I have shared. By the way, I took an Uber when I was out drinking. Someone I loved very much from my past was killed by a drunk driver and if you think the rage has disdain for texting and driving, you don’t want to get him going about drunk drivers, not pretty. The reason I bring this up is because one of you shared a story with me a couple of weeks back in your comments and the story struck a chord and has been niggling around in my melon for awhile now. I am thinking about intervening if all that was told turns out to be the truth, it sounds like there is a nice “learning opportunity” here for all of you. I can’t share much more for now because I am doing my research. I will remind you, again, that it isn’t in your best interest to lie to Simon…
So on to a lighter, much more fun topic. I met India today, our first guest of the new year. I was in a good mood, just coming from the grocery store where I picked up a pecan pie. The rage loves pecan pie…almost as much as archery so we were heading home to have a nice slice when India pulls out right in front of me from a business on the side of the 3 lane 45 mph road. Mind you there were no cars behind me and had India waited a couple of seconds for me to pass, he might have seen February. I had to slam on my breaks and my magnificent pie went flying into the dash and ended up all crumpled on the floor of the passenger seat. Another example of why I don’t carry a gun, I would have used it right then and there. But, India wasn’t done yet, not even close. Traffic was heavy, apparently the non-readers didn’t see a problem being out driving like idiots and I was still in the right lane behind India. A half mile later, India slows to a stop without his signal on and then makes a right turn into a parking lot. If you can’t make a right turn without coming to a complete stop, you might want to consider public transportation, it might just save your life. This is actually our second hat trick if you have been keeping score. What a way to kick off the new year.
I wanted to get a better idea of India so we followed him into the parking lot and pulled in next to his car. When he got out, I got out of my car and said, “excuse me sir, I was on the road back there and you pulled out right in front of me and I almost slammed into the rear of your car, my pie was thrown into the dash and it’s now ruined.” I held his gaze and said no more. He blinked a couple of times and said “get another fucking pie asshole, leave me the fuck alone.” He turned and walked away and into the business. Huh, that’s one way to play it I guess. I removed his license plate, I will need that later. After I installed the GPS tracker and emptied my iced tea into his gas tank and let the air out of 2 of his tires, I headed back to the store for another damn pie.