3:45 pm
I met Charlie today. I hope that by now I have established the very simple concept that the Rules are basic courtesy and simple good manners. There’s no secret code, just don’t be a dick, that should be perfectly clear and easily understandable, unless you are Charlie. Our next contestant comes to us via the Merge. A Merge is where a lane is closed, proper notice given that a lane is ending with the expectation that everyone will slide out off the closing lane into the other open lanes. Simple right. Enter Charlie, not once, but 3 times during a section of maintenance where they were working on the right lane and had the lane closed in several places I watched Charlie cut off 3 different vehicles, waiting until the very last second to pull right into someone else’s lane, whether or not there was a car there or not. The cars behind had to emergency brake and Charlie almost caused 2 different rear end accidents. I just smiled and grabbed the Canon.
I got vehicle shots, license plate, and pulled behind to follow Charlie for the duration. Once the maintenance cleared, he shot out into traffic like a bat out of hell. I held my position far enough back to not be easily noticed, but by the way he was driving, Charlie wasn’t too involved with what was going on behind him. He pulled up in front of a nice two story house with a triple garage in a very nice section of town. You would think a comment is coming about how the wealthy think they own the world and drive like they do too. I wouldn’t argue against that statement, but in my research I have found that rule breakers are pretty even across every demographic, they all share the same dick gene. The automatic garage door opens and he pulls in. I pulled up on the curb and waited to see if the door was going to close or not. Charlie comes walking out toward the mailbox behind my car. As he approaches, I stepped out and leveled the camera and took a few shots of him. “What the fuck are you doing taking my photo” he asks as he comes storming toward me trying to intimidate. I can’t share too much of my physical description other than to say most sane people wouldn’t want to come at me looking for a fight. “I’m on a public road and if I want to document local assholes, it’s my right” I answer with a smirk on my face. Immediately, his face flushes beet red and he comes toward me. I had laid the Canon back in the seat and I was leaning on the roof of the car through the open driver’s door. Without boring you with the dick measuring contest that ensued, I did all I could possibly do to provoke him to do something stupid, my body coiled and ready for action, all the while looking like I couldn’t be more bored. He threw several more insults at me and actually spit at my feet. I looked down and then brought my eyes back up to catch his with a smile as big as I could manage and said “thank you, you just made this so much easier.” Just then his front door opens and a nice looking lady similar in age to Charlie shouts out “hey, “Charlie” what are you doing, is everything ok?’ I leaned toward Charlie and I said, “no “Charlie”, everything is most certainly not ok for you.” I smiled one last smile, grabbed the Canon and took a quick shot of Mrs. Charlie and I left the neighborhood with Charlie still yelling at my retreating back bumper, knowing I would be back for a housecall in the not so distant future.