10:15 am
The Rage and I have been “asked” to resume normal ops and give her some room to breathe. Ok, so he can be a little overbearing when he is worried, jees. We have a puppeteer to play with anyway so let’s do just that, resume. First though, I feel I owe you a Q&A since we bagged off for a couple of days. The one I get more than all the others it seems is “Do you have a split personality?” Or some variation of that particular theme. Yes, I absolutely have a split personality and I would challenge you to find me someone who doesn’t? What you say? That’s ridiculous. Is it? Are you the same person at the office as you are with your significant other, when you are with your friends, having dinner with your parents? Do you change who you are to suit the environment you are placed in? Everyone does, it is a normal human coping mechanism. I’m just up front about how I change depending on the stimuli that surrounds me, and I do it largely for your benefit. If you met me in real life you would have no idea the Rage is lurking beneath the surface, waiting for a volunteer. I can be pretty charming…. unless you do something to draw the attention of the Rage. Then you will see that other personality that you really didn’t want to meet. Just like our next volunteer.
We can’t call the head X-ray Puppeteer and after 4 X-rays already, the Rage is afraid of radiation poisoning so let’s just designate this prototype for The Walking Dead zombie mold as Yankee and see if we can arrange a playdate. Yankee, the stealer of lives, actually works in the industry and that shouldn’t come as a surprise. Most white-collar crime is committed by people working within the industry, who better to know how to screw the system they are working within. Yankee holds a high position within his company and within the industry and makes more money than most could ever dream of without turning to crime, to stealing the lives and hope of so many hard-working people. Yep, the Rage is going to be spending some quality time with Yankee.
I wasn’t just eating Bon Bon’s these last few days, I was able to find out more information about Yankee than even his own mother knows….I can tell you which porn sites he visits, pretty sure his mom doesn’t have that info. Just saying. Anyway, just like dear old Simon, Yankee looks like a decent human being on the surface. He is on the board of directors of 2 charities, volunteers some of his time for various causes, and hires teams of thieves to destroy lives. Quality guy all the way around. We have installed a tracker on his car…a Bentley. Don’t shed any tears for poor Yankee. We own his security system, and we have access to his personal and work computers. Time for an introduction. I opened up a new email from his own email account and sent him the following:
“Dear Yankee,
I had the pleasure of meeting some of your associates the other day. I just happened to be minding my own business and your “employees” came storming into my life because they couldn’t be bothered to drive their vehicle in a safe, courteous manner. I take exception to those kinds of things so I followed your boys and it turns out that they were up to no good. No good at all and from speaking with the gentlemen at length, they have informed me that it was all at your behest.
You can’t just steal people’s lives, their financial security, their hope and expect to have no negative consequences. Since I basically invented negative consequences, you will understand what that means very shortly. In the meantime, we went ahead and reallocated your assets, even the offshore accounts, to those that you have taken from in the past. I am sure your wife will be supportive when they come and foreclose on your house, repossess your cars, jewlery, YOUR life. This is the legacy you created, enjoy it. By the way, your children’s private school tuition check bounced so I am sure they won’t mind heading over to public school. Who doesn’t like to change schools in the middle of a school term. Father of the year!
Simon”
We will let him enjoy phase one before we get nasty!