9:25 am
I’m pretty sure she loves me, at least as much as you can love a serial killer you have never actually met and have no idea what they look like. How sexy is that, she is after me for my mind, or the twisted shell that used to be my mind. If I had known it was possible to feel this way for another human being, I might not have undertaken this mission. But then I would have missed out on meeting Foxtrot and it’s back to blissful reality.
Let’s meet Foxtrot. I met this particular ass sniffer in a parking lot of all places. I was picking up supplies at the local hardware emporium and I was waiting for a parking space that was in the process of being vacated by the current resident with my signal on. The car is backing out so when it goes forward it will come toward my direction. As the car starts coming toward me and I begin moving toward the parking space, Foxtrot came flying around the corner from the other side of the space and as I was making the turn in, Foxtrot slammed his car into the spot right in front of me and I almost hit him. I tapped my horn to let him know he was now in my sights and do you know what this brain donor did, I know you know. One more bird going extinct. As he was getting out of his car I rolled my window down and smiled and said “have a lovely day.” The walking poster for abortion sneered over at me “fuck off dickhead”. Better words for his headstone there are not. The rage wants to spend some quality time with this guest. After he left I got out and let the air out of all of his tires and parked in the back of the lot so I could watch when he comes out. Some people spend their time in front of a TV but I prefer interactive entertainment. If you saw the tantrum he threw in the parking lot I think the television advertisers would be upset at the loss of revenue. I haven’t laughed that hard since Delta’s reaction to me giving his ex wife all his assets, this was better. I think it’s important to take pride and enjoyment in your work.