3:05 pm
I met Ida today. Before we get into that horror story, I want to touch on a Q&A. I have been getting lots of questions about D and Eve being part of our team. I have to admit, I have asked the same questions myself and I am still struggling to find the right answer. Maybe the only right answer is one that they have to answer for themselves. Both are adults and capable of making their own decisions. I have shared some of their past that brought them into my life and unless you have lived through what they have, you wouldn’t understand why they are here taking part in what we do. Well, most of what we do. Sometimes the Rage likes to work solo. I would be particularly weary of the solo Rage if I were you, he gets way more creative when left to his own devices. Hey, speaking of devices, he has some new ones. Maybe Ida will be lucky enough to experience them. Not Ida’s luck mind you, the Rage’s.
What did Ida do to garner all of the Rage’s attention? You will be happy to know we are entering into new territory with this 7 day old curdled toe jam. Ida is a pedestrian road rager. Our first. I was on the way to the store to pick up some more Huggies, the baby goes through them like the Rage goes through torture tools, when this dipshit walks out directly in front of the car. 50 feet ahead, is a pedestrian crosswalk clearly marked, but Ida thought he owned the parking lot and that he could cross anywhere he wanted. I hit the brakes and came to a shaking stop about a foot away from him. Did he show contrition and apologize, move out of the way and let me continue on….with the Right of Way? Nope, he cemented his reservation at the Farm by giving us the one finger salute. The Rage is wanting to know if I cut it off, dip it in liquid metal and then let it harden, if we can use it to beat Ida to death? I think he might be onto something here…. We can at least drive it through one eardrum and out the other if need be. I’m pretty sure we won’t encounter too much resistance in there.
The next question you are going to ask (because I know my Ragers so well) is how can I track him down since he wasn’t in a car. Easy enough, we borrowed the store’s security cameras and when he made his purchase, we tracked it to the credit card receipt that was generated at that moment. You have to love technology. I think Ida may disagree when the Rage tries to stuff an Ipad up his ass for flipping us the bird though. He doesn’t seem to concerned about the possible negative review Ida may give us. I think the Rage got cocky when we signed up for Amazon Prime and he gets all his toys without paying for additional shipping. Speaking of new toys…. You will just have to keep reading.