3:15 pm
I enjoy a good surprise party, but if you are going to throw me one, you may want to let the Rage in on the plan. We had several guests decide to drop by the house and throw old Simon a party. You know I like to party so we made sure all our guests had a really good time and got a nice gift basket for attending. I guess blowing up half my family wasn’t good enough so they sent these gentlemen to try and finish the job they fucked up in the first place. This time, it didn’t go so well for them. They sent 20 trained killers to come and finish what they couldn’t do the first time. News flash, you missed again!!! This reminds me of a line I heard watching Swamp People when Troy Landry said “If you’re gonna take a shot at the devil, make sure you don’t miss.” Choot Em! I love that guy!
I am sure you want to know the gory details so let me break it down for you.
5 of the stooges were blown up before they even got close to the house. D took out 8 of them on his own, 4 before they even had feet on the ground. The boy has skills, I couldn’t be more proud. I didn’t see D take them down so I can’t comment on how he did it, I can only share my own experience with you. I like to get up close and personal with my party guests so I grabbed my Katana, that’s my really sharp ninja sword that the Rage saw on an episode of The Walking Dead and made me buy him one on Amazon, and I patiently waited. The first group had 3 men in it and they crept past my position where I remained unobserved. Once the last man passed in front of me, I thrust my sword into the back of his dominant shoulder and before his weapon hit the ground, or a sound came from him, I hit him in the back of the neck with the handle of the sword and out he went. I continued forward toward the other 2, who were too busy looking in front of them to realize that it wasn’t their buddy creeping up behind them. I showed them the error in their ways. I came up between them and slashed the guy on the right first and before he could grunt, I was already cutting into his buddy on the left. A few key strikes with my dagger as a finishing touch and they eagerly agreed to wait out the rest of the party right where they were.
One of their buddies must have heard the fun going on and wanted to participate because as soon as I had the first group restrained, bullets started peppering the area all around us. I was already secure in one of our hides and had the drone up over the top of the foursome before the bullets stopped flying. I was able to take out 2 of the remaining men with the darts that deployed from the drone and used the attack as cover to move into position for my last 2 party guests. It was time to go old school, the Rage has been begging for some string time so I let him go. Now these guys were professionals, military trained I later found out, so I guess it took them by surprise when one of the guys looks over at his buddy after hearing a thump and sees an arrow protruding from his neck, blood spraying all over the place. It’s just not something the brain is trained to process because it isn’t used in battle anymore, at least conventional battle. The couple of seconds of hesitation on his part were all the Rage needed to bring an end to this party. Before he could train his weapon in the area the first arrow came from, the second arrow was already in flight and found its purchase in the shoulder of the last remaining man. The arrow went right through his shoulder and stuck in the tree behind him, holding him up off the ground. The fun was all over and only the clean up remained. Actually, the Rage likes this part better than the party itself, but that will come later. Do you want to know the crazy part of all of this? All 20 men are dead. Not by my hand mind you. After taking prints and running facial recognition on all of the men, we found out that each was listed as Killed In Action from one branch of the military or the other. All highly trained, mostly special forces. Deceased. Do you know who uses dead soldiers to do their bidding…..our own government’s shadow agencies. It just might be time to register the Rage to vote because he doesn’t much like the current administration.
We have those still left alive on ice, literally, and have disposed of the bodies of those who didn’t make it. I found a bear den up in the hills back behind the house, but Kevin said that it wouldn’t do the bears any good to eat humans and they might get a taste for it. Too bad, I remember going to the bear dump with my dad as a kid and it was always fun to watch. Anyway, we had thought about body disposal when we bought our new place and we have an incinerator that does really nice work.
It’s likely going to take more time than usual to get some dialogue going, but don’t you worry. Sooner or later, they all talk….
I’ll have some time to work on Adam while my guests are resting not so comfortably. Later this afternoon, I will introduce them to the Rage’s version of hot yoga.