10:45 am
I have to tell you first thing that the Fox has proven beyond a doubt that she is truly the definition of the word and Simon Sez I will spare that, out of respect for Fox I won’t go there, person, but his ass doesn’t get a free pass. Oh hell no. Fox has made sure that, it’s really hard not to go there, he will understand the following. Should that ARGGGHHH Dick Bag (sorry, the rage is powerful) EVER gamble again with his family’s future, we will come back and remove his skin 1 painful inch at a time. And then we will get down to business. He will attend Gamblers Anonymous weekly and volunteer at least once a month. If I get so much as a whiff that he is anything other than a model husband and father he will fully understand the rage’s dislike for forgiveness. This project began to show the world what consequences are and when someone so eloquently asks for a moment of grace, wish granted. Consequences.
Your car will be returned (but Bravo will remain a part of Foxtrot’s life in case I need to prove a point down the road). Your finance company apparently had a computer glitch and made a mistake. Be well Fox, you deserve better.
I met Golf today. What, did you think I was a frigging quaker now? The only reason I was able to convince the rage that we should spare Foxtrot was because Golf came and introduced….herself to us.
Before we get into this most interesting next case, Q&A time as promised. One question I have now been asked 47 times from all around the world and thank you but no, I can’t marry you, my heart belongs to another. But thanks for asking. If I had an ego, it would be inflating tremendously but thankfully I don’t give a crap what anyone thinks…except her. The question I get asked more than any other though is how is it going to end? All I can say to that one is stay tuned and drive well. If I have no volunteers my mission is over. Eight billion people, there is no way I won’t get any volunteers. Case in point, Golf.
Our Golf is the farthest thing from a well running VW, no this pussy fart is already on the guest register at Chateau de Simon. As you know, I fashion myself a gentleman, of sorts, so for one of the fairer sex to make the reservation, she had to spectacularly fuck up. Golf didn’t disappoint. We’ve previously established that riding the ass of the last car in a line of cars honking and flashing lights was an extraordinarily bad move, Simon last car in line, Golf right up my ass. She is going to find that isn’t exactly a comfy environment for her. Even though the rage is on even more of a hair trigger after the Foxtrot debacle, his words, this move in and of itself wouldn’t be enough to breach my chauvinistic barrier so she upped the ante. Rule #1, if someone wants that spot more than I do, move the fuck over. So I did. Golf guns it to close the 17 feet of highway I just vacated to help placate her and for my effort, you know it is going to be difficult to even find a bird in a very short period of time with so many going extinct. As I followed behind, she cut off no less than 4 cars in the 2 miles until she got off her exit. Then she started driving aggressively. Room service not included.