Welcome to the Rage! My blog is going to be a little bit different than what you may have expected. I am not going to teach, sell, motivate, or whatever most others do with their blog, no I am going to take you along on a ride with me because I am going to kill someone, or more accurately, several someones. Yes, you read that correctly, I am going to kill someone and I will be as descriptive and upfront with you as possible but for obvious reasons I can’t give you all of my personal information or much physical description. Plus, it adds to my mystique. For the sake of names, you can call me Simon because what Simon Sez goes, at least for those unfortunate enough to make my acquaintance. While I have no fear of law enforcement involvement, at least not at this point because no actual crime has been committed and even if one was, there is no way to trace my blog back to me, I have taken steps to ensure my anonymity. If one were to attempt tracking my IP address, you will have a lovely tour of some of the nicest places in northern Europe, South America, Russia, China, and even North Korea (you don’t want to know what I had to go through to get that server) have to offer.
While I am sure you have doubts about my willingness or ability to follow through on my intentions, I am sure the next logical question is why? That is the easy part, when is the last time you got in a vehicle and got out on the road? I have always had an underlying rage flowing through me since as long as I can remember, but once I strap into a car and witness the unbridled lack of courtesy, skill, and common sense, something inside of me shifts and I become another person. It’s like I am controlled by a very powerful force that is incredibly difficult to contain so I finally realized that I cannot hold this force at bay any longer and I can either let it out in a controlled, directed manner or I can strap on some guns and go all Columbine in the middle of rush hour. While the latter method certainly has its own appeal, I would prefer to perform a service to humanity instead and rid the world of some really unnecessary assholes. I can only give you basic information about myself to protect my identity but I can share that at one point in my life there were 4 billion people on this planet and now we are knocking on the door of eight billion people. With our advancements in medicine and lack of world conflict, our population is spiraling out of control and within the next 50 to 100 years we are all going to be fighting each other for basic survival items like water, food, and clean air. Why not get ahead of the curve and get rid of some of the human detritus floating around our roadways now and postpone that apocolypse a little longer. I really don’t care if you agree with me or not, that is my rationalization and I am sticking with it. I never really understood why people are so wrapped up in what everyone else thinks about them anyway, it is a huge waste of time and resources. Think about it, when you are reflecting on your day are you remembering what someone else did, looked like, how they dressed, or are you more concerned what you “think” other people thought about you.
The next question should be what criteria am I using to choose the first human virus I plan on making extinct. That one is easy, I don’t have many criteria other than showing the barest courtesy on the road and that brings us to rule number 1. This is really the building block of decent society: stay the FUCK out of the left lane when someone approaches you from behind. I don’t give six shits that you are going the speed limit or just above, move the fuck over or die. It’s a pretty simple concept yet one that is fundamentally ignored on the highways. I understand if you are that guy that thinks the lane might be a little smoother or you are within your rights to drive in any lane you want or whatever excuse you have to be such a dick, you absolutely are within your rights and you are also putting your ass in the hat along with the other idiots to have a red hot poker shoved up it. I am still working out the how part, but trust that it will involve something a lot more creative than a simple bullet, I don’t even carry a gun….for obvious reasons such as the likelihood that I wouldn’t get 2 blocks without using it. The next rule is also very simplistic and yet probably violated more than rule #1. Very simply, Rule #2 is to drive the speed limit, or preferably just above. Failing to do so is a sure way to a short and horrifying rest of your life. I prefer 5 over but I am not unreasonable, drive the posted speed limit, that’s why they spent the money to make the signs so you know how fast to drive. If you are unable to perform and follow this most basic rule of driving, stay the fuck home! I don’t care if you are not in a hurry, everyone that is stacked up behind you has better places to be than following behind your dumb ass watching cars shoot by in every other lane. I need to take a minute, just thinking about this got my blood pressure going….
Ok, I’m better now. I have tried everything to control the rage, I work out like crazy, eat right, have tried yoga and meditation and yet the rage is always there, on a hair trigger. People are so oblivious and wrapped up in their own lives that they don’t even know that there are predators like me all around them and yet they drive like they own the world. My fondest hope is that my work will make people stop and reevaluate how they drive and become more aware of others. All I am asking for is some basic courtesy and the simple manners that should have been taught to you when you were younger. If you were not blessed with a strong role model, you should have at least picked up on the fact that your choices have consequences. That is a word that I don’t think people really appreciate and I am going to take great care to make sure that you all fully understand its meaning by the time our project ends. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives with social media, texting and virtual interactions that they don’t understand there are consequences to their actions, good or bad. I read about these kids that cyber bully others into committing suicide, consequences. I don’t think if these kids actually understood what the consequences are for their actions that they would do these things, at least I hope so. Did you think that writing something nasty about someone on a Facebook post would cause that person to end their life, for you to be arrested, your family shamed, all your family’s money spent on your defense, fighting among your family maybe causing your family to break apart, you going to jail, ass rape, it happens. Seems a little bit extreme for a few words doesn’t it. Consequences.
I am not a monster, not entirely anyway. I truly believe that the mission I am embarking on will serve humanity more than if I were to just kill myself and be done with the pain and struggle to try and contain the rage. I really don’t care if you or anyone agrees with me, as long as you drive like you should, we will likely never meet. Likely….