10:35 am
Q&A: Can you believe someone actually asked what my favorite color is. Really? Obviously not a fan of the rage or suffering from a traumatic brain injury. In the case of the latter, red you knucklehead. Now for a provocative question: What is your favorite “punishment” tool? Now we’re cooking…. wait, cooking…. idea formed (for later). The rage likes to keep an open mind and not get pigeonholed into one form of entertainment. You know he has an affinity for the bow and still gets plenty of practice, but he also was quite fond of nail gun acupuncture, and is a prodigy at the blow torch. We can’t answer this unequivocally until we are done with our project because there are still so many more choices we haven’t even tried yet. Change is the spice of life as they say.
What the rage likes to say is pain is the spice of life and he is quite a spicy fella, just ask Lima…. oh, yeah…… too late. You know how much I like it when our guest parks their car all the way in the back of the lot, taking up two spaces so no one can park next to their pretty little penis extension? Well, thank you Lima. His precious was in the back of the lot and when he came out I had left the chase vehicle parked right next to his car so he couldn’t get in the driver’s side. I waited until he was standing there with steam coming out of his ears and I walked up to him after making sure there was no audience and the closer I get he starts cursing at me. I took offense, such language. So, I shot him in the neck with the tranq gun and that silenced his protest quite nicely. Since Lima has such a love for his shiny new car, the rage wanted to see what that sucker was all about. We threw Lima into his own trunk and disabled the trunk release, no bathroom breaks will be needed on this ride.
We were killing time the other day after following Lima around. By the way, it was pretty tame what he did to me, I witnessed far more dickness than one person should be allowed to exhibit. Thankfully, the general area will be dick free shortly, at least Lima’s. Anyway, we found an old motocross track. The rage was actually jumping up and down with excitement so I strapped into the Limamobile and let the rage show me what he was made of. Had I not been wearing a neck brace and helmet, I might have had an uncomfortable time. I say this because after we ran a short 25 lap race, there wasn’t much left of Lima in that trunk. I guess we should have offered him a complimentary pillow. I told you we weren’t 5 stars certified, what did you expect.
Thankfully there was some very hungry local wildlife so we let Lima stay behind to feed them, the boy sure loves wildlife. If I thought sharks were excellent at body disposal, I might have been premature in that assessment. Gators don’t play! Poor Lima lost control of his shinny car and it ended up in a canal that was chock full of them…