12:25 pm
We have a new mission. The Rage and I have been tasked with recovering something the owners want back very badly and it just so happens that I think it would be in our best interest to help them. Idle hands and all so off we go to pursue our first lead. Before I introduce you to Victor, because you knew someone would come along and remind us just how much we dislike drivers who don’t seem to understand the concept of consequences, I want to get to a Q&A. I keep getting asked for updates on Tango.
Tango would be a good mentor to have in consequence avoidance. I am heading out of town and I am pretty sure I might be a day or two so I wanted to make sure Tango was nice and comfortable. I made a coffin and buried him. What, I’m no monster, I made sure he had company…8 legged company. I seem to remember that Tango wasn’t a fan. Oh well, we had to work with what we had. He’ll be alright for a couple of days…unless his airhole gets plugged. “No use sweating the petty things son when you should be petting the sweaty things” my daddy used to say. What could go wrong, I left him a bottle of water and a pop tart.
Professor Rage will be offering his class on consequence avoidance in the teaching atrium at the Chateau if Victor doesn’t change his butt hole ways. The Rage can pretty much do what he wants, he now has tenure so pay attention Victor.
How did this particular pickle sniffer, Victor, end up on the Rage’s dance card you might ask?
You should have seen it coming with the teaching references. I like to call this behavior the lesson teacher. This is the person who will “teach you a lesson” by driving exactly like they think you should. Ride in the left lane going exactly the speed limit, 3 second delay at a stop sign, signalling and slowing down 10 bus lengths before the left turn lane and my personal disfavorite, creeping up to the stop light instead of just driving up there and stopping like every other person. He even brake checked me. Again, I was in a hurry, heading off to do good and save humanity and then Victor came along and fucked it all up. The Rage tends to make arm gestures when he gets frustrated and that made Victor exaggerate each ass face maneuver. We have it on Rage-O-Vision if you don’t believe me.
We followed Victor into a parking garage for a commercial building. We parked and waited, watched, and photo’d Victor getting out of his car and into the elevator. After disabling the security camera covering Victor’s car, I let myself in and obtained all of the info I needed. I left a couple of parting gifts and locked her all back up the way Victor left her. We will be back to play, but for now we need to get on the road. Saving humanity and all.