2:35 pm
Have you ever been in a hurry and you are in a left turn lane behind a single car that can’t seem to make it the 28 feet across the road so you can continue on your way? That was probably Sierra in front of you. In all fairness, I only saw him at the illegal U-turn so I waited in front of his house, moderate rancher with a single car garage. The house is older, but has been maintained fairly well. I ran the normal background check on Sierra and found out he is 38, wears corrective lenses, and is an organ donor. Too bad the Rage doesn’t leave anything to be recycled, he is very thorough. And then I found the last nail in his coffin. I was trying to determine who he works for and wouldn’t you know I found biweekly direct deposits from none other than…. Sprint. Sierra is going down….painfully. The Rage saw one of their commercials the other day and now I have to go buy another TV when I am done with this toadstool.
Not that it was a question but you know I am thorough. We embarked on tailing Sierra to see how many new toys I have to buy for the Rage. This guy couldn’t go the speed limit if his life depended on it and, sorry to say, it does. Or did. Not once did he go the speed limit. You know how we hate wasting resources like metal and paint for road signs telling the ignorant masses just how fast to go so as not to get a Rage enema. Sorry for the recurring reference, the Rage was disappointed we didn’t get to use the rolling pin enema on the field boss. Don’t worry, we took it with us and we will make an introduction to Sierra, I am sure they will become fast friends.
Illegal U-turn, check. Driving under the speed limit, check. As if it wasn’t a foregone conclusion, he came to a complete stop, then made a right hand turn without a signal. I might add a roll of duct tape to the rolling pin to give it more girth!!
Normally I would introduce myself in an email and try to give a valuable life lesson about manners, proper driving techniques, and basically, a way to stay alive, but what would be the point? Look at our audience. I would normally come up with a creative take down for him, but I think I am just going to walk up and punch him in the face. If anyone deserves a face punch, it’s this failed abortion. I found a Big Lots and bought the Rage a new Dremel tool….with all the attachments. The bright angelic cherubic faces of happy children on Christmas morning pulling presents from underneath the tree pale miserably in comparison to the Rage when he gets a new power tool!